I had been divorced for 3 years and hadn’t made the changes I so desperately wanted. I was the heaviest I had ever been (weight put on by stress, going back to work and taking care of Edwin, my son). I had also come out of my divorce with splintered friendships, and I was looking for a way to find real, genuine relationships. I had tried gym memberships and classes through LA Fitness but found that, unless someone was keeping me accountable, it was all too easy to back out and not show up.
My first impression, I was intimidated. I saw the rig and thought, “I’ll never be able to do a pull-up.” But then I saw the rowers and felt like maybe I wouldn’t be totally lost. I used to think that there was no way I could bring my son with me to work out with no one watching him. Of course, all of these impressions couldn’t have been more inaccurate. My son has made great friends and asks to go to the box with me to see them. And I was determined to get a pull-up and didn’t stop until I reached that goal.
What sealed the deal, the feeling I experienced after my intro class, the high. Sonya was smiling and telling me how awesome I did, and I felt that familiar confidence that had been lacking for so long. It also made me realize right away that I was way more capable than I gave myself credit for, and I wanted to keep challenging myself and improving. I remember, a few days before I did my intro class, I read an article about how we’ve basically all become zoo animals, driving in air-conditioned cars and sitting in air-conditioned buildings…and it really struck me when I was done with my intro. My body felt happy and satisfied like this is what it wanted all along.
My biggest accomplishment at CFS is watching my son’s language change about beauty and fitness. He is constantly bragging about how strong I am and talking about how he wants to feed his muscles when we eat dinner. Now that he’s in Lil’ Apes, I recognize that same sense of confidence in him. When someone asks him if he is able to complete a task, he says, “Yeah, I’m a big boy. I do Crossfit.” I would also say that, as a woman and as someone who comes from a history of disordered eating, one of my biggest accomplishments was understanding and respecting my body. I am at peace with who I was, who I am, and who I want to become. I now want to be stronger and more capable, not smaller and weaker. I’m proud of every pound I put on that bar, and I’m not phased by any ideal of beauty that is paraded in front of me. Strong is my forever goal now, no matter if society agrees.
Crossfit is not only about getting healthy physically, it’s about getting healthy mentally. It is worth every penny hundreds of times over simply because it will change your life. Your mentality becomes more positive, more determined, and your confidence will skyrocket. You realize you have this unlocked potential you never even considered before, and you can’t wait to continually push your own boundaries to be the very best version of yourself.